View Full Version : OT Joke Thread

09-22-2009, 02:51 PM
Top 5 Banjo Jokes:

What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)

Chain Saw:

a chain saw has a dynamic range.
you can turn a chain saw off.
South American Macaw: one is loud, obnoxious, and noisy; and the other is a bird.
Harley Davidson Motorcycle: you can tune a Harley.
Onion: no one cries when you cut up a banjo.
Trampoline: you take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
Uzi: an uzi only repeats forty times.

09-22-2009, 02:57 PM
How can you tell if there's a banjo player at your door?
They can't find the key, the knocking speeds up, and they don't know when to come in.

09-22-2009, 04:16 PM
Definition of an optimist-banjo player with a pager.

Bagpipes - make great kindling for a banjo fire.

09-22-2009, 04:49 PM
Ha! Hadn't heard those! :biggrin:

09-22-2009, 05:23 PM
I prefer Chuck Norris jokes, here are a few:

- Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open
- Some people wear superman pajamas, but Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
- Chuck Norris hand is the only hand that beats a Royal Flush
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
- Chuck Norris invented black. He actually invented the entire color spectrum. Well other than pink, Tom Cruise created it.

- Chuck Norris does not believe in the periodic table, he only believes in the element of surprise

09-22-2009, 07:17 PM
Good stuff!

09-22-2009, 08:16 PM
I think this might just be one of my favorite jokes of all time now...

A man dies and goes to heaven. Upon arrival, he meets Peter at the pearly gates. Behind Peter is a wall of clocks, so the mans asks Peter what they are.

Peter responds "Oh, those are lie clocks. Everytime someone lies, the hand moves. Take a look at Mother Theresa's clock. Her hands never moved, indicating she never lied. Take a look at Abe Lincoln's, his hands moved twice, showing he lied twice in his life."

Being a faithful democrat, he asked where Obama's clock was. Peter laughed, and said "Well, that's in Jesus's office. He uses it as a ceiling fan."

Carolina Boy
09-22-2009, 11:41 PM
worms i think that is the funniest thing i have heard in some time, but lets remember it is a dude from my home state that is willing to call him out on it!!! South Carolina!