1-50 posts "What are you doing?"
50-150 posts "Are you going to get something done today?"
150-250 posts "Your son is trying to talk to you."
250-350 posts "Are you even LISTENING to me?!"
350+ posts "WILL YOU GET OFF THAT DANG COMPUTER BEFORE I THROW IT OUT!!!!!"
Unfortunately, according to this system I would have attained the 350+ post ranking several times already without having actually posted that many times.
Life is hard. But it's a lot harder if you're stupid.