Byron,
reading your report this morning, it sounds like maybe you could use one of these... You could fit a lot sandwiches on this bad boy, but I'd think twice before slapping an expensive rod or a stereo system on him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3W8dm5JxFc

On a serious note, I look forward to reading the report every morning.
Thanks, and keep it coming.