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Thread: OT Joke Thread

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default OT Joke Thread

    Top 5 Banjo Jokes:

    What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)


    Chain Saw:

    1. a chain saw has a dynamic range.
    2. you can turn a chain saw off.
    3. South American Macaw: one is loud, obnoxious, and noisy; and the other is a bird.
    4. Harley Davidson Motorcycle: you can tune a Harley.
    5. Onion: no one cries when you cut up a banjo.
    6. Trampoline: you take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
    7. Uzi: an uzi only repeats forty times.

  2. #2
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    Default

    How can you tell if there's a banjo player at your door?
    They can't find the key, the knocking speeds up, and they don't know when to come in.

  3. #3
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    Definition of an optimist-banjo player with a pager.

    Bagpipes - make great kindling for a banjo fire.
    Gone fishing.

  4. #4
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  5. #5
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    I prefer Chuck Norris jokes, here are a few:

    - Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open
    - Some people wear superman pajamas, but Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
    - Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
    - Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
    - Chuck Norris hand is the only hand that beats a Royal Flush
    - Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
    - Chuck Norris invented black. He actually invented the entire color spectrum. Well other than pink, Tom Cruise created it.

    Finally:
    - Chuck Norris does not believe in the periodic table, he only believes in the element of surprise

  6. #6
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  7. #7
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    I think this might just be one of my favorite jokes of all time now...

    A man dies and goes to heaven. Upon arrival, he meets Peter at the pearly gates. Behind Peter is a wall of clocks, so the mans asks Peter what they are.

    Peter responds "Oh, those are lie clocks. Everytime someone lies, the hand moves. Take a look at Mother Theresa's clock. Her hands never moved, indicating she never lied. Take a look at Abe Lincoln's, his hands moved twice, showing he lied twice in his life."

    Being a faithful democrat, he asked where Obama's clock was. Peter laughed, and said "Well, that's in Jesus's office. He uses it as a ceiling fan."
    Trey Nichols- jato_jr@yahoo.com

  8. #8
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    worms i think that is the funniest thing i have heard in some time, but lets remember it is a dude from my home state that is willing to call him out on it!!! South Carolina!
    If it swims throw a fly at it!

    Barry Murphy
    828-400-3335 (Cell)

    www.projecthealingwaters.org
    "Healing Those Who Serve"

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